fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
