Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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