he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
