Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
two words...techno handjob
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
