There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
this just has baby written all over it
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
These tits shall not be calmed
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
