eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
wow bdsm is so cute
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
