when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
