i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
