paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
