Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
