Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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