Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
How does one acquire holy water?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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