Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My ass is underappreciated
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
