Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
