Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
