The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
