He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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