She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
