Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
