Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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