how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
