You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
