She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize