I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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