its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
