you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
