I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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