Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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