What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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