Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
