so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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