The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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