Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
