Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
