my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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