am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
