I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
