if you like me you must not know who I am
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
