I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
