the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
