Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
