I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
