:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
