Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
