The best revenge is premature balding
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize