Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
