Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
