hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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