If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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