Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
