with your own penis?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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