Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize