So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Randomize
