Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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