I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
