I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
