It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
