he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize