I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
