Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
