She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
