I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
