Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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