her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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