you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize