i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
