I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize