I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
