my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I understand Curling. That high.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize