There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize