So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
