I need to stop coming to work sober
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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