Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
