Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
