I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
