Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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