My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
