On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
