Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
