All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
