it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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