Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
