Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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