so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
