these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize